Freedom
Freedom for the child means freedom for you. Abandoning the possessions of the child to their fate means eventual safety for the child’s possessions.
You’ve lost the child forever that you seek to control or own.
When a child abuses their freedom they are given a restriction to go off and learn about what is needed to be learned and once learned the freedom is back.
Permit a child to sit on your lab. He’ll sit there. Force him or squeeze him too tight and he will be trying to leave. Instantly he’ll squirm to get away from you. He’ll get angry, cry, protest. Recall now, he was happy before you started to hold him.
Your efforts to mold, train, control a child in general react on him exactly like trying to hold him. If he’s had the above trained, controlled, ordered about, denied his own possessions you can change your tactics. You can give him back his freedom. Of course he’s suspicious of you at first or anxiety ridden like the way I was raised by parents seeking to interrupt making the mistaken idea that a child is an idiot who won’t learn unless “controlled”. Flunk on that part… but it is better to have learned this not to repeat history. You can continue the above good stuff and earn back his love to where he knows you are reliable for food, clothing, shelter and love and he will bring that self determinism to the world.
Avoid “training” him into a social animal. Children begin by being more social, more dignified than adults are. In a relatively short time the treatment he gets so checks him that he revolts. Freedom and love are the key.
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